


Father Figure

by trashy_kai



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Character Death in Nightmare, Father Figure!Hotch, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashy_kai/pseuds/trashy_kai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer is falling for his best friend, but every night, he has nightmares about Derek Morgan dying in front of him. When he has to share a room with Morgan and wakes up crying, he runs into Hotch's room, looking for advice from the father figure of the group.<br/>Will he follow his heart or stay lost in his mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father Figure

Reid knew he was falling for Derek Morgan, he could feel it every time he closed his eyes and took a deep breathe. But he also knew he couldn’t stop the bad dreams at night.

Almost every night, Reid would dream of losing his best friend, either from friendly fire or just a rogue unsub trying to kill as many as he could before going down… Sometimes, he would just dream of a letter, much like the one Gideon left him and he would wake up sobbing, like a broken mess.

Usually, Spencer Reid wouldn’t say anything to his team, neither of them could know or it would be his end. So his biggest problem was waking up in the middle of the night crying while he was sharing a room with any of them. Lately, they had been sharing room rooms more often than not, _budget cuts, can you believe_ _?!_ and that just took this mess to a whole other level.

“So who’s staying with me?” JJ asked as she smiled brightly at the team, neither of them minded sleeping with each other and they playfully pretended to get sad whenever they weren’t _chosen_.

Penelope raised her hand straight away.

“Sorry, chocolate mousse, I’m having a girl’s night today! Emily, take me to our room!” She commanded from the computer.

Derek chuckled and shook his head lightly.

“So, am I staying with pretty boy over there or one of you seniors?”

Rossi rose a hand to his shock and feigned hurt.

“Who are you calling a senior? And if you want to know, I get better with age- just life fine wine.” He walked towards Hotchner and ignored Derek until he turned back to Reid.

“C’mon kid, this leaves us two.” He threw his arm around Reid’s shoulder and dragged him to their room.

For a few seconds, the younger male let himself relax, under the light weight of Morgan’s shoulder.

They ended up going to bed after a bit of playful games, Reid liked to play word games -he always won those- and Derek liked to see him smile after those games. They were sharing a large bed, they flipped a coin to decide who would chose the side and Reid sighed when Morgan chose the closest to the bathroom.

“I won fair and square, pretty boy! I get to keep this side!” He reminded him just before heading out to the bathroom himself.

Deciding not to dwell on things, Reid simply climbed to bed and faced the door, pointedly ignoring Derek when he got back to the room.

His mind was filled with _what ifs_ and _imagine_ s when he closed his eyes and fell in a peaceful sleep. Of course, that night was just as bad as any other. Spencer’s mind did a giant U-turn and his thoughts started to get darker and darker. It got to the point where Spencer saw Derek being stabbed in the chest only to be followed by a few gun shots to his chest, stomach and brain.

He was sobbing when Derek woke him up-

“H-hey kid-” no answer, only sobs, “Spence- shh, it’s okay. It’s just a dream. Wake up, pretty boy.”

Reid woke up with a start, his mind still full of pictures of Derek’s forever still body. He yelled as he got up from the bed and looked at Morgan. He couldn’t help himself when small flashes of his dream started to fill his mind once again.

“Ahhh.” And so he ran out of the room, not caring what Derek Morgan would think and simply went for the only place he could think of.

As he reached Hotch and Rossi’s room, he knocked hurriedly.

“Please, pl-please.” He mumbled to himself, his whole body was trembling and he was sure he was going to fall to the floor and cry his heart out.

Aaron Hotchner opened the door, his hair unruly and his shirt off, he was looking at Reid with a stern face until he saw the younger man crying.

“What happened Reid?” He asked, his stance shifting and pushing his friend inside. Before he closed the door, Hotch looked around the hallway, checking for potential targets or whatever had upset Reid.

Rossi woke up slowly, noticing the resident genius crying and being unable to speak at all.

“What’s wrong, Spencer?” He asked, sitting on the bed.

“I- I…” He trailed off and looked away from them.

The older man looked at each other, they shared a brief nod and Rossi went to the bathroom, leaving Hotch with him.

“C’mere Reid.” He called, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Slowly, Spencer got up, although still shaking, and sat down beside his chief.

“Now, tell me what’s wrong, so I can help you.”

Reid turned his whole body towards him and simply stared, containing his sobs as much as he could.

“It’s just- I had a really bad dream.” He felt childish saying it, but he really couldn’t go out and about telling his unit chief how he was falling for one Derek Morgan. “I was dreaming that- that Morgan-”

As he trailed off once more, Hotch sighed and slowly pushed the younger man’s body towards his.

“Shh- It’s okay Reid. It was just a bad dream.” He started petting Reid’s back, trying to sooth his as much as he could.

Hotch’s whole persona shifted to his ‘father’ persona, to the man he was whenever his son was crying or in trouble. He couldn’t help feeling responsible for his team and although they were all old enough to care for themselves, he would always be their concerned father, always looking out for them.

Reid buried his face on his boss’s neck and hugged him, he just needed to feel comfortable again and he could only achieve that through the reassurance Hotch was passing in his hug.

“Wanna tell me the dream, buddy?” He asked softly, trying not to spook the man even more.

Reid shook his head firmly, letting out a sob before he pulled Aaron Hotchner even closer.

He took a few deep breathes, he calmed himself down as best as he could and then he broke the embrace.

“Sorry, Hotch.” He said in a small voice.

The Unit Chief smiled softly.

“It’s alright, Reid, no problem at all.” He itched to ask about it, but knowing Reid, he knew the answer would be coming out sooner or later.

Reid sighed and finally spoke.

“I- I think I’m falling for Derek.” His voice was as low as a whisper, but he knew Hotch would listen; he always did. “A-And I keep having these- these nightmares where I lose him. I can’t have that, Hotch. I can’t lose him too.” He calmed himself for a few seconds before he kept going. “I know it’s not logical- but I can’t- I can’t help it- I-”

“Shhh, it’s okay Reid, I get it.” He replied, “I used to be like that with Haley- Not when I met her, but when I got into the FBI I used to have these nightmares about someone wanting to get revenge on me and going after her- well, I guess that’s how it ended up anyway-” He stopped himself when he noticed Reid tense up before him. “But it doesn’t have to be like that and you know it. Morgan is amazing in this job and he can protect himself.”

“I- I know all that Hotch.” He said, letting his head fall on the crook of Hotch’s neck. “I just- What if I lose him?” As he closed his eyes he saw Derek Morgan staring at the grey sky, his stomach gutted and a gunshot wound in each of this knees. “I don’t know if I can keep this up anymore. I can’t- I can’t.”

He was about to start crying once more when the unit chief started rocking their bodies, in an attempt to calm Reid once more.

“You can. You’re strong, Spencer.” He hardly used his name, except when they were having dinners at Rossi’s or had those infamous night outs, but right now, he knew Reid needed it. “I know you can do it. You’re a strong boy, Spencer.”

Reid sighed, he felt the comfort of Hotch’s words, his gestures and everything in Hotch himself; It reminded him of his mother.

“I don’t know. I can hardly close my eyes without watching him die, Hotch.” He admitted slowly.

Hotch smiled lightly.

“You really are falling for him.” When Reid whined, he chuckled. “But you can do it. You have been doing fine until now and let’s face it, Spence- Most of the medical bill is on you, Morgan only gets a gunshot wound in his arm from time to time.”

He had a point and Spencer knew it.

“I can’t help it. I’m so afraid- I can’t lose him. Just like I can’t lose any of you.” He pulled Hotch closer, his arms refusing to let go, just like Jack did whenever he was afraid of the monster in the closet or when he missed Haley.

“I know, buddy.” He hugged Reid even tighter and waited for the inevitable response.

“Hotch- Too - Tight - Can’t - Breathe.” He panted.

Hotch snickered internally but let go slightly of his friend.

“Sorry.”

Reid finally let go of Hotch altogether and looked at the floor.

“I don’t know what to do-” He confessed. “Should I tell him?”

Aaron sighed, knowing Reid wouldn’t like the answer.

“I can’t tell you what to do- You have to listen to your heart, instead of your brain.” He paused, to make sure Reid was following him. “Your mind is showing you all the possible negative outcomes, because you’re neglecting your heart. Give it a chance to dream about your future, give it an actual thought and you’ll see how it goes.” Reid looked stunned, incapable of understanding what any of that meant. “What I’m saying is, just think about what would happen if Derek said he liked you back. Would it be worth it? Because if the answer is yes, then you know what to do… If you think you’ll be happy, then you should just go for it.”

Reid’s mind raced, trying to think of every possible outcome of being honest with Derek Morgan. That was, until he felt Hotch’s hand on his shoulder.

“Remember, is it worth it?”

His thoughts shifted to happier ones, where he saw himself and Derek snuggling in bed after a case, or twining their hands together as they slept on the jet… He felt happy just think about it- He couldn’t think of anything better than just being with Derek Morgan.

“Yes.” He replied, not even hesitating once. “It’s more than worth it.”

Hotch smiled.

“Then there’s your answer. Now go back there and make me proud, buddy.” He gave his a pat on the back and showed him to the door.

“Thank you, dad.” Reid replied without even noticing it and Hotch smiled. He felt accomplished and happy that Reid went a long way in the years they’ve been working together. Just the fact that he could think of Hotch as being the father in their little family- he couldn’t even being to express how that made him feel.

“It’s absolutely alright, son.” He replied to himself as he walked back into his room. Rossi was back inside the room and looking at Hotch expectantly.

“Is he alright?”

“Not completely, but he will be. Morgan is just as mad about him, as he is about Morgan.” He smiled lightly, as Rossi nodded. “You should start making the arrangements for another wedding, Dave. Morgan won’t take very long to propose to Reid.”

Rossi chuckled and nodded but didn’t answer.

* * *

When Reid walked back into his room, he noticed a lot of things: the bed was empty, Derek was pacing and every light in the room was turned on.

“Hey.” He said in a low voice a few seconds after walking in.

Morgan stopped and looked at him abruptly, Reid could see how hurt he looked.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong now, or are you going to run away again?”

Spencer looked at the floor, he felt miserably for leaving his best friend in the dark but he really had to do that.

“I’m sorry- I just-” Reid stopped speaking, how could he explain things to him? “I’m sorry.”

Derek’s face softened slightly and he sighed.

“I know you are, kid. But you can’t just start crying in the middle of the night and then run off to God knows where-” He sounded frustrated, although he wasn’t raising his voice. “Look at me, Reid- Look me in the eyes- Yes, that’s it. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just- I had a nightmare.” He stated, he would tell Derek but he needed to find a way to explain it to him.

“So you just ran away from me? Was I hurting you in your nightmare?” Morgan asked seriously.

“No!” Reid’s answer was heard a bit too quickly, he looked desperate to make Derek understand. “I- I- I don’t know how to tell you- What if you hate me after it?”

Derek sighed and walked towards Spencer, he guided him to the bed and sat in front of him.

“That’s impossible, pretty boy.” He smiled lightly. “Just tell me what is and I’ll see how I can make it better.”

“Hotch made it better.” Spencer looked at his hands as he spoke, his voice as low as a whisper. He took a few deep breathes before he continued. “I have been having these dreams- nightmares- where you die.”

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, Derek looking at Spencer seriously, while the younger man stared at anything but Derek.

“Is that why you ran?” Spencer nodded.

“Yes, but that’s not _just_ it. I-” He stopped himself, his heart was pounding loudly in his chest; he could hear his mind questioning this all over again. But then he heard Hotch in his mind _Is it worth it?_ His mind replied and he nodded to gain confidence. “I’m falling for you and I can’t watch you die- although I see it every damn time I close my eyes.”

Spencer looked away firmly, avoiding all eye contact and trying to avoid seeing any disgust or rejection Derek might have.

“So why did you run?” Derek’s voice sounded rough, he took about a minute to say anything at all.

Spencer could feel his eyes filling with tears, his mind running in circles _‘What if he hates me? What if I disgust him? What if he asks to transfer to another unit? What if I lose him?’_ he was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice Derek had spoken.

“Kid- Reid-” Derek called, trying to gain his attention. When he realized it wasn’t working, he grabbed Reid’s hand and called him again. “Spencer-”

The younger man finally go free from his mind and looked at his best friend.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you run?”

“I had just- just seen you gutted and shot- Every time I looked at you I saw you dead- I had to get out.”

Derek’s hand let go of Spencer’s and started running up his arm.

“It’s okay, Spence- As you can see, I’m alright.” He said lightly, once he reached Reid’s shoulder, he pulled him closer. “C’mon, get in here.” He opened his arms and waited for Reid to get closer.

Reid sighed but did as he was told.

“I’m sorry I ran.” He mumbled with his face against Derek’s chest.

“It’s okay, kid- I get it.” Reid didn’t say anything, he breathed the scent on Morgan’s shirt and stayed put. “I like you too.”

“What?” Derek had spoken so low, Reid wasn’t sure if he had actually heard him speak. “What did you say?”

“I- I’m falling for you too.” All the confidence in the world didn’t take Derek anywhere, he was like a school boy telling his first crush how pretty he thought they were. “So I get it- you were scared.”

Reid tugged Morgan’s t-shirt and pulled him closer, neither of them spoke for a few minutes that was until Derek sighed.

“Next time, you just pull me close and listen to my heart beating.” Derek said next to Reid’s left ear. “Just listen to me breathing and calm yourself down. I’m here no matter what.”

Reid felt like this was the best thing he could have ever hoped for and smiled lightly.

“I’ll give my best, Derek.”

They kept on hugging for a while until Derek pulled away so he could face Spencer.

“Where did you run to?”

Reid blushed and looked away.

“Hotch’s room.”

“What- Why?”

Reid shrugged, thought for a while and then opened his mouth to speak once more.

“I don’t know- instinct I guess? I used to go to my mother’s room when I had bad dreams… And I guess I saw Hotch as the father figure here and ran to him.”

Derek smiled.

“Yeah, kinda is our dad figure. Him and Rossi, if we’re honest.”

Spencer sighed and nodded.

“I only talked to Hotch, though. I guess I’m more comfortable with him.”

“And that’s perfectly alright, pretty boy.” Although he had been hearing the pet name for almost six years, Spencer blushed and hid his face.

“Yeah I guess.”

“C’mon kid, let’s get you to sleep for real. And remember, if anything happens, I’m here for ya.”

“I know, Derek.”

And so Derek got up so he could go to his side of the bed and when they were laying there, he pulled Spencer closer, making his head rest on his chest. Reid sighed happily and slept until it was morning.

* * *

“Aw, look at them Aaron.” David Rossi was totally spying on their teammates.

“I know, Dave. I can see them too.” He sighed, and sat back. The plane ride was only a couple of days after Spencer ran into their room with a bad dream, but right now- everyone could see how happy he was, shifting his body closer to Derek’s and their hands holding the other.

“Somehow I think they’re even cuter than Will and JJ- and you know that is hard to surpass!” Rossi replied.

It wasn’t just them who noticed the change in the two elements of the team, JJ and Prentiss were looking at them and started taking pictures as soon as they were both asleep. As soon as they landed, Penelope was waiting for them, a bouquet of flowers in her hands and she handed them to Derek without Spencer noticing.

“Come on, make pretty boy swoon with those. Now don’t forget I want to be maid of honor in your wedding, chocolate thunder!” She told him with a wink.

Derek smiled brightly and looked at Reid; the man was smiling happily and talking with JJ and Hotch about something – probably Doctor Who – that made him almost jump in the same spot. Reid was going to flip when he saw the flowers, and Derek was more than happy that he would be the cause of Spencer’s happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! Please make sure to comment/ leave kudos if you did!  
> Feel free to send me prompts on my [tumblr](http://proffxavier.tumblr.com)!


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